Who better to give you wedding advice than recent newlyweds? These couples have full hindsight, and even though they may have loved every moment of their wedding, maybe they would have changed something in the planning process. In the end, I think you will find as you read these examples, that when you approach your wedding with patience, a timely planning process and forgiveness for the little goofs, you’ll have a highly successful wedding experience. Now take a look at the perfect advice from a past bride.
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
The advice I would give you would be to not sweat the small stuff. Surround yourself with the people you love and enjoy every second of it. Even what might seem like a stressful situation really isn’t that bad when you put things into perspective. When I was wedding dress shopping with my mom and sisters, I was torn between two gowns. The consultant (who was as sweet as can be) said, “I know this is really stressful and so hard right now,” and I thought to myself, ‘If this is stressful and hard, sign me up for this any day!’
Maybe it was a tough decision…but it was the best, most fun ‘tough’ decision I’d ever had to make! Having to choose between two beautiful wedding gowns that I would get to wear to marry the man of my dreams…yeah, I can think of much more difficult situations. – Melissa
Quality Time During Planning
I know that every couple will experience stress in the months leading up to their big day, but it’s important to try and enjoy the engaged stage of your relationship. To de-stress, try not to have every conversation be about the wedding; it may be hard at first but it’s nice to be able to continue date nights, hobbies, and time with friends and family without always having to talk about flowers, guest lists, and food tastings! To help, you can set aside specific times during the day or week to plan and converse about your big day. Your wedding planner can help you stay organized and plan a timeline to tasks you should do next, so you can plan accordingly. – Lucy
Focus is Key
Planning a wedding is hard and takes a lot of work. I think I underestimated the number of emails and phone call that took place between myself and all of the vendors over the course of our engagement. Google Drive is a beautiful thing when you are at work and need to do some multitasking. I also think that as a couple, both of you need to determine what aspects of the day are most important to you, and don’t lose focus of those things. With all of the planning, it is easy to start to think that everything is the most important, but when you have to work within a budget, the truth is that certain things have to give. Plus, no one except you will know exactly how you envisioned your day, so if you happen to run out of time (or money) for a few of the details, no one will know! – Jim & Valerie
Communication and Grace
Communicate clearly and often with your spouse-to-be during the planning process. Be open with what you want, how you’re feeling, and what you need from your spouse. Then build up your teamwork skills. Blame all of the stress on the nature of the wedding process. Stay on each other’s side. Apologize if you mess up and do better next time. – Marco
Keep What You Want, Toss What You Don't
Don’t be afraid to break all the rules. If you don’t love an aspect of a traditional wedding, then don’t do it! For example, we had no bouquet/garter toss or a wedding cake and not a soul complained. Instead, we still hear from people about how beautiful and special the experience was and that it was their favorite wedding! The question we kept asking ourselves was, “What defines a wedding to us?” Your wedding doesn’t have to fit anyone else’s idea of what a wedding should be. When the wedding is full of things that are important to you, it will be perfect. – Asona
Hard Deadlines
I wish we would have spent less time on the guest list. We spent a lot of time “tinkering” with it. Parents would add people and then take people off, and then add more. It got to be too stressful. Especially when it’s a week before you’re sending out your invites and changes are being made. It was unnecessary stress, and our least favorite part. I should have said no more changes after a certain date (which I did) and then stuck with it (which I didn’t). In the end, we loved having each and every guest there to celebrate with us and it all worked out. We just lost a lot of sleep over it! – Jennifer
Coordinating Teammate
Hire a wedding coordinator! We can’t stress it enough. Not only does it alleviate the stress, it is also someone who can act as a mediator between the wedding politics that will occur during a wedding. – Ryan & Breanne
Eat!
It’s important to eat something! We missed dinner because we were taking photos and talking with our guests. Combine that empty stomach with a few drinks and summer heat in Kansas City… yikes. It caught up to me by the end of the night. So many people told me this, and I had fully intended to follow this advice, but it just didn’t happen. – Mariah
Prioritize Your Budget
Decide on the top five things you just have to have at your wedding. Is it a designer gown? Is it your dream venue? Is it to-notch food (my personal pick)? That really helps you narrow down where you will splurge and where you will be conservative when it comes to your budget. – Michaela
Advice from a past bride can be an invaluable perspective to help you avoid the pitfalls of planning your own wedding. Think through the above advice and then reach out to people you know who just got married and see what their thoughts are. Eventually, maybe you’ll be the one giving advice from a past bride!
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