Weddings come and go in a flash—but the memories last forever. We caught up with three couples to reflect on their big days, what they’d do differently, and what marriage has taught them. From choreographed dances to post-9/11 ceremonies, their stories are filled with heart and humor. Use these perspectives from weddings past to formulate your wedding approach.
DEREK & JENNY
Wedding Date: MARCH 20TH, 2021
What was the best thing about your wedding?
The best part about our wedding was the groomsmen choreographed dance. Derek and his groomsmen had choreographed and practiced a dance routine with a specific mix of songs to perform at our wedding. During our reception, after everyone had eaten some food, we all turned towards the dance floor. They sat me in a front-row chair to get the best view. From there, Derek and his groomsmen did such a fun performance to a mix of Backstreet Boys, Usher, and other songs. It truly was such a magical moment for our wedding that everyone who attended got to see.
Looking back on your wedding, what would you have done differently?
Our wedding planner and her coordinators left earlier than planned. Originally, they were supposed to stay late to help us clean up since we had added that service to our contract. Once they left, we went into a panic trying to figure out how we were going to clean up in the allotted time given by the venue. We spent about an hour trying to communicate with the wedding planner who had already left instead of enjoying the rest of the night with our friends and family. If we were to do things differently, it would have been to not let the problems that arise ruin our wedding day, and to focus on having fun with all the guests that were there to celebrate us. < A very insightful perspectives from weddings past.
What’s the biggest difference in your relationship now that you are married?
The biggest difference is that we do more “adulting” now. Talking about kids, houses, appliances, and adult stuff that our parents typically never talked to us about when we were kids. As you grow older, your values and expectations definitely change.
What’s the best part about marriage?
You get comfortable knowing you only need to impress one person for the rest of your life. You also learn to make decisions and create compromises.
What is the hardest part about marriage?
One of the hardest things about being married is learning to be 110% vulnerable with another person. We go through our lives with varying degree of vulnerability. When you are married, it’s important to let go of that and become vulnerable.
TYLER & SARAH
Wedding Date: MAY 11TH, 2013
Tell us a little bit about how you met / got engaged?
Tyler and I met when we were teenagers at a concert in downtown Kansas City. After convincing ourselves we were just friends we started dating and never looked back. He proposed on a trip to Mexico at the top of a Mayan pyramid – with an empty box! After convincing me that this was in fact a proposal and he had left the ring back in the room to avoid losing it, he proposed all over again when we got back to our hotel.
What do you remember most from your wedding day?
We rented a bed and breakfast for the weekend where we got married and I remember being surrounded by family and friends all weekend long. It was so much fun popping into people’s rooms and spending time together.
What is the most surprising difference between dating and marriage?
Honestly, there isn’t that much of a difference, at least in the day to day. But we feel like partners. We always have each other’s backs even when things get hard. There’s a sense of security it gives us.
If you could do it all over again, what would you do differently?
We would elope. We would go to Ireland, get married on the cliffs with just a few friends and family, and then travel. It probably doesn’t help to say that to couples planning their wedding right now, but sometimes the details can overshadow the meaning of the day. < We love this perspectives from weddings past.
After being married for 11 years, what has been the most significant lesson you have learned to keep a healthy marriage?
You’re not going to like each other every single day. You won’t be happy 100% of the time. And that shouldn’t be your goal. All we can say is wake up hungry. Hungry to love each other, to learn something new or have a new adventure. Hungry to talk to each other like it’s the last time you will hear that person’s voice. If you stay hungry for your love and work on it every single day, even in the small things, it will make a huge difference. Don’t stop listening. Don’t stop communicating. It takes so much more work than you could ever dream of, but it will be the most rewarding investment you will ever make.
What advice do you have for a couple that is currently engaged and planning their wedding?
Just enjoy the ride. Things are not going to go the way you dreamed them or planned them because things just turn out as they will. So, let it go and enjoy it. < Great perspectives from weddings past.
DARREN & DANA
Wedding Date: SEPTEMBER 15TH, 2001
What was the most memorable part of your wedding?
It was actually what happened earlier that week. We were married on September 15th, 2001… four days after September 11. The world was rattled by the worst terrorist attack in history, and our wedding was not immune to being impacted. We had many friends, family, and even a groomsman and bridesmaid who couldn’t travel to be at the wedding. We considered postponing the wedding, but we realized that if there was ever a time when we needed to be with our friends and family, it was now. We all needed something to feel good about, and to be around people we loved. Our wedding and reception became an escape from the tragedy that our country was facing at that time. It was an incredible day.
What was the most memorable part of your wedding?
It was actually what happened earlier that week. We were married on September 15th, 2001… four days after September 11. The world was rattled by the worst terrorist attack in history, and our wedding was not immune to being impacted. We had many friends, family, and even a groomsman and bridesmaid who couldn’t travel to be at the wedding. We considered postponing the wedding, but we realized that if there was ever a time when we needed to be with our friends and family, it was now. We all needed something to feel good about, and to be around people we loved. Our wedding and reception became an escape from the tragedy that our country was facing at that time. It was an incredible day.
What is the most significant lesson you’ve learned in sustaining a healthy marriage?
We’re no experts, and we don’t have the perfect marriage. Every relationship experiences bumps in the road, ours included. Probably the biggest lesson we’ve learned during those challenging times is to remind each other that even though we disagree on something, we’re still on the same team. And that will never change.
What is the biggest difference in your relationship now compared to 22 years ago?
The biggest difference is our priorities. Back then, we were both so focused on our careers and how we could support each other in that area. But priorities change with kids. Suddenly the most important thing was going to soccer games on Saturday mornings. We began to support each other in becoming the best parents that we could. Sure, we still have our careers, but the most important job we will ever have is being a parent.
What do you do to keep that “spark” in your relationship?
It’s important to keep things spicy. That’s what makes marriage so great because you get to share something special with just that person. One of the things that keeps us so connected is that we always find a way to make each other laugh. Laughter has a way of minimizing the stresses of the day. And once you can wash away your stress, it makes it easier to relax in each other’s arms.
What advice do you have for couples that are currently engaged and planning their wedding?
Don’t forget to enjoy it. There are so many details, deadlines, and decisions to make in preparation for your big day. But don’t forget that it’s supposed to be a celebration of your relationship. < Great perspectives from weddings past. Don’t let the stress of the “perfect wedding” get in the way of actually enjoying it. And remember that no matter how much you plan, something will inevitably not go as you had planned. I mean, look at our wedding. Who could have planned for a terrorist attack four days before our big day?
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